I started this fitness “series” over a month ago. With the best intentions to have a new post out every Friday. I got Chapter 1 and Chapter 2 out as planned. I actually do have a life story to tell. However, life happens and you roll with the punches. Since Chapter 2, my life has changed drastically. It literally went from being 11 pounds away from my goal weight, so close I could almost reach out and scoop it up, to right now being 37 pounds away from my goal weight. In other words, I have gained most of it all back.
I guess when you finally have your shit together and you’re least expecting it, good things happen.
In August 2015 I met an amazing man. Even after losing almost 40 pounds I was embarrassed to work out in front of him. I was scared of the judging eyes and the snickering like those good old High School Days. I mean let’s face it, he had never seen me at my heaviest, let alone working out. When you meet someone new, you get to enjoy all the “getting to know them” things. You want to spend ALL your time with them. I am not saying this is a bad thing, not saying it’s necessarily a good thing either.
By October 2015 I had gone to the gym maybe a handful of times. Maybe. We were having a great time together, falling in love, the whole sha-bang. My weight loss goals went right out the window and I was family focused and rosy-eyed. I still wore my Garmin, tracked my steps, but that was really it. I was active still with my kids and all their millions of sports and activities but my focus went from being on my health and journey to everyone else’s needs/wants.
This is my pattern and this pattern is unhealthy, however, it’s a plus that I can recognize this flaw in myself. Many say that it’s “a mother’s instinct” to put others before herself. I agree, to a point. At what point is it the MOTHERS turn? When does SHE get time to dedicate to her health, wants and needs? It is such an important aspect of life to take a second for yourself and smell the damn flowers. Watch the sun go down. Read a book.
The rest of 2015 was insanely hectic. Personal struggles, legal battles, work issues, you name it – I was going through it. The gym was put on the back burner and by this time the P90X videos were collecting dust. Working out had become an after thought and I started talking about it like it was years ago since I had accomplished so much.
The start of 2016 I made no New Year’s resolution. Every year up to this point it was always to lose weight, etc. This year, 2016, I had nothing. Legal battles were blazing, wedding plans were happening, at one point I was to say there were about 4 different activities my kids were involved in. There was work, daycare, school, homework, etc. Talk about stressed beyond belief. I had tried actually numerous times to start working out again. It seemed no matter what I did, I got interrupted.
Summer came. Summer went. The usual summer activities happened so that kept me active but there was no additional effort. This entire time, almost a full year now, I kept saying, “I’m going to start working out again” or “Tomorrow is the day”. So far “tomorrow” hasn’t come. It is unreal how much that pisses me off, but I let it happen. So it’s my fault, my failure.
I recently started a group on Facebook called Frazzled N Frugal Fitness Club. I started this group for support, encouragement and a little ass kicking. Sometimes all it takes is a little competition to spark the fire. We have fun and we give each other hell. Come join us.