The holiday season is upon us and its now when many start joking about putting on those “holiday pounds”, however, to some its really no joke. Me included, I would laugh about those meme’s. Laugh with friends about the massive feasts we were all about to endure over the next few months but really its a life struggle with me. I have never been that size 0 my sister was for most of her life or even the size 10 my other sister was growing up. I have always been the size 16, 18 or even as high as 24 at one point in my life. Was I proud of it? Not at all. At the time I figured it was who I was and I just took it as the hand God gave me.
All this changed in 2015. A bad relationship took a turn for the worse and I made the decision to remove the toxic person from my kids and I’s life. I decided then that I had to find ME again. Which would be hard as I had always done so much for others, I never really gave myself a second thought. My life was all about my kids and providing for them, I felt guilty for taking some me time.
(This was me in 2005 at my heaviest! I probably weighed around 250.)
My younger sister and I hit up the local gym 5 days a week, I’m pretty sure she was trying to kill me. I changed my eating habits and cut out almost everything I had been eating. I went from eating about two and a half meals a day to eating between six or eight. Three main meals and small snacks in between actually help your body process and break down the foods you eat and keep you energized.
I started out weighing 232, I downloaded the MyFitnessPal app (follow me under sismarierissa7) and used it avidly. I tracked everything I ate and drank, I did not lie! If I ate a Little Debbie snack I logged it. If I drank a soda, I logged it. I tracked my workouts, calories burned, length of time, everything. We went to the gym like clockwork for 2 months (ok maybe she drug me a few times). During that 2 months, with all the changes I had been making I had a weight loss of 17 pounds. SEVENTEEN POUNDS! That is not a huge number to me but I was overjoyed to lose it. I was down to 215, my goal was set at 175. The hashtags #OnederlandIsComing and #JourneyTo175 were born.
(I’m not sure why but the more I sweat the more I felt better)
March was another story. I ended up moving to a new house and there were a lot of ups and downs with food intake. During March I only lost 2.4 pounds. 212.6 now. April came and went and the bad relationship kept coming back and going away so the drama was a huge roller coaster ride. April landed me a gain of 4 pounds. 216.6 now.
May was the hardest month ever. Not for weight loss, but more so for finding myself. I had never really been great at being alone. I like to be around people and needed that affection, someone to share my life with, entertain others. That was missing from my life and it was taking a toll on me emotionally. No one should ever have to feel like they are not wanted, or not pretty enough or not skinny enough. Everyone, every, single, person on this great Earth has a purpose and a reason they are here.
One day in May I left and walked about 5 miles down a dirt road and across a huge field. I was at my lowest point. Looking back now I can say that it was selfish of me. I walked out on my kids who needed me at that time and because I was so lost and broken up inside, I left it all. I really had no intentions of coming back. Until I saw it. There in my path was a huge rattlesnake. All coiled up, rattling away. I am terrified of 3 things in life, clowns being #1, heights and snakes. I stopped dead in my tracks and just stared at this snake. THIS was my sign from God that I was not on the right path. After bawling my eyes out some more, I turned and went home to my kids, thanks to a snake.
I will be posting more to this series every Friday. It will pick up right where the first chapter leaves off, just like any other book. I am hoping that this series will touch you or someone you know and can share this with. No one is in this life alone and we can lean on each other for support in our own journeys of weight loss and happiness. Bad relationships do not define who we are, just builds character and makes us stronger. Your bad relationship does not have to be a person. It can be a substance or personal struggle within yourself. Identify it and lets knock it out with some ass kicking (the fitness kind)!
I would love to hear all about your “ah ha!” moments to get on track to a healthier life. Coming up in the next chapter- The summer months and how P90X and I had a love/hate relationship. I should also say I am not a consultant for P90X, I just use the videos.